I love that Dirty Water

I spent 5 years in Boston, working for the state, preparing state and local personnel for an incident much like the one that cowardly and savagely struck the City of Boston on Patriot's Day.  Boston is a closed city in many ways.  You either are from there or the region, or you went to school there, normally.  I was neither, moving there from New York City in 2004 for a number of reasons.  I was dating someone. I thought I had failed the Sergeant's test, and I realized that while I loved being a cop, that I wasn't great at it and I wanted to be great at something. 

After moving up there, the relationship fell apart (that was on me) and I ended up working for state government for five years.  Most of that time was spent with the talented people at the Massachusetts Emergency Management Agency.  I actually conducted drills preparing for the marathon with the very same people who were carrying people down Boylston and undertaking heroic lifesaving missions in the medical tent. 

Also, I found a family up there.  Boston might be hard to break into, but once you do, you have family and amazing friends. I had friends running the marathon.  My friend Sara just had a baby a few months ago and was running while Chuck and her daughter Piper watched.  All of them are fine.  Physically.  Having been in New York on 9/11, I know well that just because you weren't affected with cuts or bruises, there can be damage sometimes to your heart and mind.  And while the media talks about Patriots Day, this was indeed the granddaddy of bullshit Mass State Holidays.  No offense, Bunker Hill Day.  I remember being  drunk at 1PM stumbling out of the Boston Beer Works in Kenmore thinking that life is grand.  And all those alcohol fueled people swarm down to the marathon route to scream at the runners, urging them on.  The Red Sox even have a morning start time at home each year to help.  It's a perfect storm of Massholes and happiness. 

And while I was watching yesterday, I knew everything would be alright, because I knew who was working there.  My friends Rene and Adam in Homeland Security/Emergency Management.  Super bright and no-bullshit people that nothing gets by.  I thought about Bob Haley of Boston EMS, perhaps the only man that still can pull off a flat top, who is nicknamed Sarge and who commands respect.  I just imagined him seeing the bomb go off, flicking his cigarette to the curb and saying "Oh Hell No", in his gravely voice.  Bombs don't make Sarge scared.  Just mad. 

Hearing stories of the professionalism and heroism of the people who responded was not a surprise.  They're incredibly capable and they also care a lot about that city and that day.  Apologies for the rambling nature of the post.  And everyone has one, but I wanted to say that Boston will always be my home in many ways.  I love its people and its attitude and its heart.  When things calm down a bit, I'm going to come up and drink some Sam Summer, eat some grilled meats and we'll all laugh again. 

Until then, you all up there need anything, your tax dollars aren't funding Amtrak's "high-speed" train for nothing, you know. 

Don't Poke The Transgendered Bear

Updated:2/26 with some Kansas love.  Kansas, home of the WBC as well as some really cool VC Grads.  Go Jayhawks.
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So, in the two days since my last post, some really cool stuff has happened. What began initially as a rebellion against the Westboro Baptist Church turned into a Vassar LoveFest. I've gotten some comments that said we shouldn't do anything in response. That they feed off the response. Lets get one thing clear. These people don't give a shit about counter-protests. They could care less if you show up or not. They enjoy their constitutional freedoms and further enjoy the lawsuits that they get to file when they feel they've been violated. Because the only thing worse than a family of religious bigots is a family of religious bigoted lawyers.

Anyway, enough about those losers. Remember the fundraiser for the Trevor Project? Their goal was $4,500. Yeah, they're currently at over $67,000 with over 2,000 donations.   So that's better than a collage of puppy photos. Second, watching all of this pride on Facebook and Twitter, I thought about how to celebrate that. So, I suggested the idea of having Vassar Club events on the evening of the 28th to just get alums together to drink and laugh and share what made Vassar so special. Personally I think getting alums from over the years together is a great reminder of how special VC is by itself.

Cathy Lunn, who oversees the clubs for AAVC, sent out an email to the larger clubs suggesting that idea and it turns out that some, like NYC, were already planning something. Damn you New York. Always ahead of the curve.  So I thought I would list the clubs participating in Pride Night and people can hopefully find a club near them.

D.C. 
Cause, A Philanthropub
1926 9th St. NW (Near U St.)
7:30 PM until the hospitals fill up
Contact: Graham Campbell

NYC
Mug Lounge (Serves beer and offers dark grinding opportunities)
448 E 13th St. NYC
9:00 PM until the glow sticks go dark
Contact: Alex Dempsey
Tickets needed. Go to http://www.alumniconnections.com/olc/pub/VRG/geventcal/showListView.jsp#

Boston
Club Cafe 
209 Columbus Ave. (Back Bay)
Time TBD
Contact: Caitlyn Ly

Kansas City, MO
Snow & Co. (1815 Wyandotte, KCMO 64108)
5:30 - 7:30 PM
Contact: Kelly Berkson
**Snow & Co. will donate a percentage of the proceeds to a local LGBT
community center and safehouse** 

As more parties come in, I'll update the list. But simply put, this is awesome.  This isn't an AAVC thing and it doesn't have to be a Club thing. If you live somewhere like Albany, I'm looking at upon Mazura, and want to have a get together, I'm happy to post it here also. Either leave a comment or email me. My email is the contact info for the DC group.

Thanks to the Westboro Baptist Church

So today, the Westboro Baptist Church announced that they will picket Vassar College on February 28th, for apparently 45 minutes.  Their press release is below.  They had a Twitter post that called the school "fag enablers"

Now, this protest is only for 45 minutes and as usual, there will be far more counter-protestors than protestors.  WBC doesn't actually care about the protest.  They are actually hoping that their rights to assemble are infringed upon and then they sue and fund their bizarre little empire.  The Southern Poverty Law Center has rightly labeled them a hate group.

I went to Vassar College and graduated in 1999.  Friends and fellow alums have posted some great stuff on Facebook.  My friend Tom posted this:
"Westboro is going to Vassar? Hoo-boy. You're bringing a fart to a shitfight. Sure, 'don't dignify them with an answer' is the way most would deal with this. Vassar students, on the other hand, have been training in mountaintop dojos for 150 years for this. When someone inevitably prints up, "Fag Enabler" t-shirts, send me one." 

Someone else set up a Crowdrise fundraising page for The Trevor Project, which is a group that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention to at-risk LGBT students.  The page was set up today with a goal of $4,500.  It's currently at $7,223 13,878 and climbing.

Yet the thing that I kept thinking about, was not my anger at the ignorance of a family of lawyers, but my love of my college. Vassar is a weird and quirky place, that used to have an event called The Homo Hop.  I was told when I got there that we didn't have a homecoming, but a "homo-coming." And while each year, seniors are convinced that the freshmen are boat shoe wearing, popped collar having, rich conservatives, its not really true.

I was a tour guide and every few tours, when I finished the tour and was standing around waiting for individual questions, a parent would come up and ask me if it was true that the school was 40% gay.  (I have no idea where they got these numbers.) I would say honestly that I didn't think Vassar had many more gay students than any other college.  I thought that gay students felt more comfortable at Vassar, enough to hold hands in public, or to kiss each other at parties.  I said that I was glad that I went to school in a place that felt that safe enough for people to be who they really are.

I am immensely proud of where I went to school.  And I had forgotten that pride, as life often gets in the way of remembering the things and places that made us.  It's easy with careers and family life to forget how we became who we are.  The people that I studied drank alongside of are probably some of the most amazing and intelligent people I've known.  To broadly paraphrase Groucho Marx, I'm not sure I'd want to be associated with a school that the WBC wouldn't protest.

While those inbred morons did not mean for this byproduct, I am so glad they decided to protest.  It has brought back a flood of good memories and long smiles.  And it's helped me remember a place and a people who've made my dumb ass who I am.

I am a Brewer.

So far January is Kicking Ass

So January of 2013 is one week old and it's looking pretty good so far.  Let's go over 2013 so far....

• A Job: So it looks like I'll be employed by the end of the month, with a full-time job.  I'll be working for a company that is contracted to a federal agency, managing a 24/7/365 Operations Center.  I'll explain a little more once my offer letter is signed, but clearly gaining a paycheck and full-time employment is a great way to start the year.  I've not been working for 4 months and so it will be really nice to return to an office and to have some managerial opportunities.  Also, this means that I have free range for the next three weeks to play video games and explore DC with no guilt.  Awesome.  
• Exploring Stand Up: So I decided to take the plunge and try open mic stand up.  After hearing from lots of people that I should do it, I thought I might give it a shot.  I think I had been hesitant because I enjoy humor a lot, but never wanted it to really feel like a job.  When you're a comedian, that's what you do and people approach you differently.  When you're a state employee, people really have none of those expectations.  My first gig this this Thursday night at a Kimpton Hotel for 3 minutes, so if I bomb, it can't last that long.  
• Live Music: So went to the 9:30 Club for the first time on Saturday which is a medium-sized venue about 8 blocks from our place.  We saw Delta Rae, Jillette Johnson and the Wildfeathers. It had been awhile since I'd seen a show, and it was awesome.  The sound at the venue is terrific and it's just the right size.  We will surely be back.  But Delta Rae, who are from Durham, NC (Duke still sucks), were awesome and their energy was infectious.  Liz Hopkins (@BatSparkles) was awesome.  

So that's been the first week of January.  I really can't wait for the next few.  We've got a trip to Munich coming up, seeing friends up and down the East Coast, and some Kiva events.  Good stuff indeed.  Happy New Year everybody!

Travel Help

So many of you know I enjoy travel.  Allyson and I have been to Budapest and Lima in the past year and a half, and we're going to Munich in February in Business Class, because you really can't beat 110,000 miles for lie flat across the pond.  Also see: Beer and Schnitzel.

My folks needed some assistance rebooking some flights they had cancelled several times, so I took care of that and even got them decent seats.  Its a United codeshare, so I needed to explain that.  See here for an interesting post that a guy named Brett wrote about the subject. Speaking of Brett, he operates a service called Cranky Concierge, which provides flight monitoring for people so they can rest easy knowing that their connections are being watched and the concierges will even call the airlines and rebook if you're cancelled.  I started working for him a month or so ago and now I'm watching flights for others.  If you're interested in stocking stuffers, you can buy credits to be used for monitoring or booking assistance.

But as I was helping my folks book their tickets, I was thinking about how I enjoyed it.  So in addition to the other 14 jobs I have, I thought I would start doing some booking and planning assistance.  And as I'm unemployed, I'd take donations.  Nothing crazy. Like a 6-pack if I helped you.  Some of these award booking services charge $150 or more for this, which can be worth it because it can take awhile to look through all the various places for the different airlines.  Clearly if you're booking your honeymoon trip or have questions, I wouldn't charge anything.  It can just be my gift.  (Note how I start this, after all my friends are married.  I'm no dummy.)

So if people have questions or need help choosing a credit card or a miles program, feel free to ask a question in the comments or call/email me.  I would say that you should sign up for AwardWallet, but in the past year AA, United and Delta have stopped allowing information to be shared, because they're idiots and don't understand technology.  Sign up anyway if you haven't.

If you need inspiration for miles collecting, check out this report by Ben on Emirates F on their Airbus 380.  The plane has two showers with heated floors.

Open Letter to Vassar 2: Electric Boogaloo

So my previous post about my issues with Vassar's engagement with alumni was well received by alums and friends and others.  It apparently raised eyebrows at the Vassar Alumni and Development Office.  About a day after the post, I received a call from Susan with their office to see if we could have a talk.

I had known Susan and she had been present at the planting of Erin's tree and I would usually try and meet her for coffee whenever she was in Boston or DC to meet with more lucrative donors. So I was happy to talk to her because we know each other, and it wasn't just some random person who called to appease me.

So some things I've learned from VC:

• There are apparently already outlets for alumni who help Vassar with financial assistance: There's even a committee for Alumni House.  However, it's pretty non-transparent.  Also it appears you have to be an AAVC Trustee or something be on these committees, which is not what I was looking for.  So while it's great that some alums are helping, it's not enough.  
• The school understands the issues with Alumni Interviews:  This shouldn't come as a surprise, but many folks who participate as alumni interviewers are often frustrated about a lack of feedback from the college or the fact that the interviews are informational and therefore don't seem like a good use of a busy alum's time, if they're not going to matter that much.  
• Vassar says that alumni want to be engaged in all different ways:  This is true.  However, you can't use this as in "We can't be everything to everyone, so we'll just not do much." I explained that they need to do something, especially if the breakdown is as follows: 
• 50% want to be left alone
• 30% are content with that awesome book of trees
• 20% want more active engagement.  

           They need to engage that last group.  Also, they need to recognize that this last group is going to         grow and continue to grow, and be loud about it.

• Vassar sort of gets it, but they're nervous: Some at the college see this change happening.  They know that their donor base is becoming more diversified and therefore less eager to drop a check in the mail for thousands of dollars without explanation.  However, they're understandably nervous about moving to a new model, when the old model made them so much money.  I mean, if you sent out envelopes and got them back filled with cash, would you change?  

So Susan and I agreed to reconvene in January.  She wanted to talk to some people in the department about this and how it could be done.  That's cool.  And she also said that people in the office were taken aback and slightly hurt by my last post.  For that I'm sorry.  Understand that my words came from a place of love and passion and not anger.  I think the fact that I even am talking about this shows that I care.  

So I'll keep people updated.  But know this, I'm not letting this go.  This is the future of giving.  And Vassar should get out in front of this and not have to play catch up.  This isn't rocket science.  I was a cop.  I once had to watch a training video telling me to open the gas cap before fueling my car.  If I can figure this out, then clearly Vassar College can too.  

If you're with me, lets make some noise. 

Open Letter to Vassar College

Dear Vassar, 

I graduated from your fine institution 14 years ago and to this day, some of the best friends in my life and greatest memories have come from those four years.  As a student, "in the bubble", I felt a strong connection to you.  As an alum, that connection has faded, as our relationship has become a financial one.  When my good friend Erin Schlather died unexpectedly and we worked with you to plant a tree in her name, that tree was removed for renovation of Swift Hall with no notice given to any of us.  

My good friend Montu recently wrote an email to the Dean of the College asking if we could be of any help to the college.  He is a hotelier and could offer some technical assistance for the college owned and operated Alumnae House.  I have worked on emergency planning and operations for most of my life and would be happy to review any plans or help create new ones.  Free.  As in, I can't give you $250, but my bill rate used to be $135 an hour, so I'm betting I can give you much more in sweat equity.  

This is the reply we got:

Dear Montu,

Thank you for your email.  I work with your class on class fundraising efforts and wanted to respond to your question directly.  

Unfortunately at the present time it is not part of the College's overall fundraising program to accept goods or services as in kind donations (currently we can only accept gifts of art as gifts in kind).  We do receive offers of services and requests quite frequently, so this is certainly on our radar.  I will keep your contact information and will be sure to update you if there are any changes or updates to the policy.

Again, thanks so much for the feedback.  Please don't hesitate to contact me with any other questions.

Best,
XXXXX (Development Person)

Alright VC, can we talk? Listen, as the 2008 elections have shown, the old white ladies that give you 8 Steinways in their will or priceless paintings are sadly passing away.  The fact that you know there are alums who want to help you and yet you still have nothing in place is pathetic.  Listen, I get it.  You want money.  Cold, hard and (most importantly) unrestricted cash.  Your nightmare is losing control of your money by people basically picking what kind of tree they want there or the colors of the dorm walls.  Trust me, I get it.  But, you're missing out on a whole generation.  Your fundraising still consists of the following model. 

1. Mail out glossy catalog with pictures of trees and names of donors, with donation envelope enclosed
2. Receive and deposit checks.  
3. Repeat. 

Listen, that's awesome.  And simple.  And I understand why you don't want to give that up.  You want to ride that gravy train, until you hit a lump and derail.  But people give money because they feel connected.  And a glossy book and open bar on 2 Buck Chuck every five years does not a relationship make.  I feel used.  

You have incredibly talented alumni and you could involve them in lots of different ways.  I know a guy who looks like a killer in Brooklyn but has some dulcet pipes who could record your phone tree for you.  Montu could easily make you more money at Alumni House.  And I can make sure that when a dorm needs to be evacuated the school doesn't tell 250 students to "go find some friends." This really happened.  The Great Jewett Flood of 1997. I understand that there could be liability involved with volunteer work, but we're adults and went to a pretty decent college, so I'm sure we could figure it all out. 

Your alumni are changing and they're growing in a philanthropic world of Kickstarter and Donors Choose and Kiva (technically not a charity), and they're going to want a different relationship with you.  And you will need to offer that.  So why not get ahead of the curve?  Why not try something daring and new?  Why do you innovate in the sciences to bring in new students, but are behind the times in keeping them plugged in.  

Final Story: I attended a college fair in Brookline, MA as an alumni volunteer several years ago, and got paired up with Caitlin and JA, two charming and brilliant women who graduated 5 years after me.  And just talking to them, not even about college, made me again realize how special Vassar was and is.  And it made me donate more to the school because I felt that connection, even third party through these other women.  Help me help you make that connection.  

You are better than this.  Be better than this.   

Sincerely, 

Graham Campbell '99

P.S. Feel free to call me.  You have my number as you call me all the time to ask for money.  

P.P.S I wanted to say that I don't think Vassar is any worse at this than other colleges.  I think the relationship between alum and alma mater is flawed as the general rule where this type of fundraising happens.