Tuesday, July 28, 2009

You're doing it wrong...

Has anybody seen these ads?

Now that Brinks has become Broadview, I see their ads are no less ridiculous. Allow me to expound on how much I hate these things.

The first reason these bother me are that they seem to target white women who live home alone. And who the hells sets the alarm when they come in for lemonade? Does this woman live in Kabul? The guy who calls from Brinks is also some slightly uniformed white guy who seems like he should be a cop. He's not. The people that call are calling from a call center. Which means that they just as easily could be selling Sham-Wows instead of calling you.

The second and most obvious reason is that this isn't how crime works. The most likely character to break into your house is someone looking like this.
This is what came up when I GIS'd "crackhead." They are people who are down on their luck and looking for something easy to steal that will net them 20 bucks so they can get high. These people do not want you to be home when they rob you. This makes it far less likely that they will get your stuff. They also don't have the intelligence or the sobriety to handle a hostage situation. They look for you to be gone, so they do it during the day. The thing I hate about these ads is that the perp always makes eye contact with the victim and then decides to break the glass anyway. Wrong.

Let's say on the other hand that this isn't a crackhead or a professional thief, and they want to do harm to the woman and or child in this clip. This, by the way, is the fear that sells these systems. That some rando is going to come along and rape your wife in the middle of the day. But let's say there is a psychopath who wants to do this. If they see you and break the window, they're not going to stop when they hear the alarm. If they're that determined, they will see their act through because they know that the response is going to be at least 5 minutes or more, because teeth whitened Brinks guy has to call you while you're being strangled and see if you're okay. (Note: This is very, very, very unlikely. Like getting struck be lightning. However this sells the majority of the alarms I would bet.)

I wasn't a cop for that long. But I know bullshit when I see it.

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