Monday, June 11, 2007

The alter-site

So some of you know this site from my other address,, which is the mirror site. You can either put in the odd number followed by blogspot, or dategraham. I own I do not own That is owned by some kid who probably doesn't even know what a web page is. It's designed by his parents no doubt thinking about their future child's intellectual property rights, never dreaming of the day when he's in high school and using his namesake site to sell some primo hydroponic shit. No, I'm sure no parents think of the marketing possibilities that way. And that's why the Chinese are taking over the world.

Anyway, I need to dress up dategraham and make it it's own site. I'm thinking some testimonials and perhaps even videos. I am using the below video for my inspiration.

But then I decided that given my recent luck with the ladies, that I should create a site for them and not for me. It was to be called "The Guy Before The Guy." I have realized that many of the women I have dated, some for less than three months, have fallen in love and moved in shortly after we broke up. Now, I'll admit that it's usually me who ends it. But imagine a service where I date you for on average no more than 4 months. We go out, take some trips, have sex, all the things you would want in a relationship. Then it goes sour. But no fear, because at some unknown time following our parting ways (but usually not longer than 6 weeks) you will find your future husband.

And then I found out that two guy already have The Guy Before The Guy. But it's pretty dormant, and it looks like a spoof. I really want to make it live. Help nice women all over the country. I have a gift. An odd and somewhat tormented gift, but a gift nonetheless. Doesn't everyone deserve a shot at happiness?


Anonymous said...

grahamby, i hate to tell you this, but there's a big-budget movie coming out based on that idea. which is not to say that geometry wasn't "discovered" in two places at the same time - by Euclid, and, uh, the With a granary? Regardless. Keep on truckin'?

Tory Davis said...

Oh Cracker, don't lose the faith. You'll find a hottie who wants in for the long haul, I promise. We just never know when it's coming... in the meantime I look forward to your tragicomedy on the big screen. xoxo

Anonymous said...

The other Graham's website is pretty pimp. The movie coming out about you looks pretty cool though.

Hero to the Masses said...

Damn you Waka with your dashing good looks and Hollywood insider information. I can read Variety too, you know.

Anonymous said...

Look, look, you're going about this all wrong. This self-deprecating thing charms in small doses, sure, but it's no kinda life path. You're The Guy. Eventually, for some lucky and extremely patient and lucky young lady out there, you'll also be The Guy. A3 above the fold, son! Did these other chumps have the first chapter of their hagiography published all across the top of a page in the Boston Globe? Do they liase with Paraguay? Are they still waiting to get Harold and Kumar back from me after a shamefully impolite amount of time? Hell no.

I believe the words of Ice-T are relevant, if coarse: "I don't rap to the ladies on my LP; I don't beg for pussy." I say unto you, abandon this dategraham thing. You have major metropolitan newspapers doing that job for you. Let your online presence reflect all of you, not just the needy part saying, "Won't somebody please love me?" You're more than this.

Okay, end of speech. Get out on that field.

Anonymous said...

Who is that Steve guy? Do I know him? I'm not sure if I do, but boy is he right. And I think I'm the girl before the girl so maybe you and me should tie the knot?