Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Better or Worse....Better or Worse

So I went to the eye doctor this morning for my biennial checkup. I have amblyopia and an astigmatism in my right eye, which in english means I can't get laser surgery. It also means my parents are horrible people who didn't get me checked out when I was a baby. But let bygones be bygones I say. So this means that once every few years, or whenever I want new glasses, I have to get them checked.

There are two games the eye doctor plays with you. The first one is when they put the drops of yellow stuff in your eye to dilate them. This renders you completely incapable of seeing anything close to you. Or as I call this game, "Race to finish the Newsweek before it all becomes blurry." I always lose this game. And my work e-mails suffer as well. Another byproduct of this is that you become like a vampire when you go outside because your eyes take in every bit of bright sunlight there is. They do offer to give you these disposable sunglasses which go over the regular glasses. However once you see them in the mirror, you are inclined to kick your own ass.

The second game they call involves this medieval device.I can't believe that in 2008, we still do exams with something that looks like it came out of Dr. Emmet Brown's laboratory. (Points if you name the movie) So you end up squinting at letters that are terribly fuzzy and the doctor moves these lenses around and asks, "Better or worse?" And he does this about 50 times. Halfway through, you're squinting and trying to read and also trying to wonder if there's any difference at all between these damned lenses, so you just start making things up. I mean it's obvious that there's not this one lens which makes my vision perfect so if I screw up a little bit then my eyes will only be a little bit worse.

So I got the new prescription and will probably get sunglasses, but actual sunglasses and not these God awful things. Or this nerd paradise either.

4 comments:

Chris said...

dork blogger, haha

maikib said...

i'll have you know my very adorable 4 year old niece has transitions. they turn purple-- her favorite color. i'll concur with the flip ups, though-- no es bueno.

maikib said...

ps: how the hell do you remember asahi shimbun?! they were the bain of my existence in sydney! seriously... mind like a steel trap.

Hero to the Masses said...

I'm assuming Chris you meant dork as a true compliment.

And Mikie, maybe for 4 year olds they are cool. But as an adult not so much.

And I remember everything. I'm telling you. Lots of room in my brain from the math I never understood.