Florida Primary Results

So the world knows now that McCain won in Florida and Romney came in second. And yes Hillary came in first in a state that gives her no delegates. I'm currently feeling Obama.

However the big news is Giuliani, my former boss. He staked it all on Florida and came up looking like a dumbass as he is currently fighting off Huckabee for 3rd. I for one, as a former NYC police officer, couldn't be happier. This is what happens Rudy when you wage a mayoral campaign, senate campaign and then presidential campaign on the fact that you lowered crime in NYC. In reality, it was the police that lowered crime, and Rudy thanked them by giving them double zero's as retro-raises. And it's not just the cops, this man is a uniter in that he brings loathing from both sides of the NYC public safety community.

Karma is a bitch, Rudy. Now please McCain, don't take him as your running mate.

And if you missed the State of the Union, my good friend Waka will gladly break it down right here:

It's late

First, RIP Heath Ledger. Sorry to spoil it for those who didn't know, but he was apparently found in his home with sleeping pills nearby, which while police have said might not be an overdose, did not deter this bastion of journalistic integrity from opining differently.

Here's an example of their creativity. Though my favorite was when the busted the alledged Al Qaeda cell in Western New York and the headlines read, "Osama's Buffalo Wing."

Finally allow me to say that I started watching the 4th Season of The Wire. I know, I'm a season late. But I've come up with a new word.

Televorgasm

It's what happens in my pants after watching an episode of this show. It's so damn good. Please. For the love of all things holy, find this show and watch it if you haven't already. Goddamn I love it.

Under the category of general whoring

Ahem...

So yours truly is a guest on a podcast. This all happened as a result of my dear friend Amanda who is one of the smartest, coolest, sexiest kindest people I know. She works part-time with these two people Peter Villa and Lindsey Neill. Anyway, these guys decided apparently to do a podcast with no basic subject or theme.

And what do you do with an hour with no restrictions? You apparently invite me to blather on for almost 50 minutes about everything and nothing in particular. Hearing my voice recorded still makes me cringe a little bit.

Peter and Lindsey are awesome people. And for the guys reading this, she's single and very attractive. If you want to meet her, I'll need $5 and proof you have your shots. Sorry ladies, Peter is married and sadly does not have his shots.

If you care to occupy your time with some funny stories and my awful voice, then click here.

The follow-up

So, it's Sunday and I've found time to blog for a little bit. I think I'll go back to the beginning.

This is the Seattle skyline from the ferry to Bainbridge Island that Emily and I took. You can't see the needle, but it's to the left. Had some good times. Went to the Sci-Fi Museum and the Experience Music Project which are co-located and both owned by Paul Allen, who is silly rich. They used the Zune as their music player in both museums, which was the first time I had seen one, which explains the popularity of the IPod. We drank beer at this place, after getting a car to take us up there and back which was a few bucks but worth it so we could get our drink on and not have to worry. Good beer. And fun was had by both of us.

Flew back on the red-eye through an awful storm and then took a nap and then drove up to Maine. So here's what happened. Driving in heavy snow on 295, going the speed limit which had been reduced down to 45, and the car begins turning left. I try to get out of the spin by turning the wheel right. (Note: You're supposed to turn into the skid, but what with the oncoming traffic I wasn't sure if that was the wisest.) So sure enough the Explorer comes around to the right, and then I go too right. And now I'm sliding out of control and about to broadside the snowbank on the right side of the road.

This song starts playing in my head.

Seriously, I was really like "I guess we'll just see how this turns out. "

So I hit the snowbank, huge amount of snow kicks up and I'm slowing down. I think to myself this isn't that bad, and as if God had an awesome sense of humor, the Ford goes over onto the driver's side. And the driver's window breaks and snow floods into the cabin. That was probably the only time in the 7-second event I was really scared. I was thinking about that older couple every year somewhere that go off the road and aren't found and need to survive by drinking frozen snow and eating Lorna Doones. Except I think all I had were Altoids. And then the car was on it's roof, and then the passenger side, and then somehow the wheels again.

So I come to rest about 45 feet from 295, perpendicular to it. The engine is running, my hands are clenched in some sort of death grip on the wheel, there's snow all over my lap, and some awful Maroon 5 song is blaring, in some way mocking the seriousness of what just happened. I get out via the passenger door, call 911 and have no idea where I am. I use my Garmin to tell the dispatcher where I am. And the rest is basically history....well they come, the car is totaled, the Maine Emergency Management Agency totally looked out and were amazing. I did teach the class I was supposed to the next day, because what else was I supposed to do.

Funny last thing: When your car rolls completely, it's amazing the crap that squirts out of whatever hiding place it's been in for the last 5 years. I found 2 EZ-Pass transponders. Both active. So that means my car has three active transponders. God knows how much I've been paying for tolls these past years. The MassPike should send me a Thank You card. Seriously.

I'm going car shopping and have some stories. But that's for another post soon.

Holy crap...

Okay, so this is going to be quick as I'm really tired. I was in Seattle with my friend Emily this past weekend and took the red-eye back on Monday morning. Have some great photos.

Driving up to Maine to teach a class in my 98 Ford Explorer in a pretty nasty storm last night. And lost control of the car. (Well, I'm typing this and not dead, so it wasn't too bad) But I ended up going off the interstate, and rolling the car completely so that it landed back on it's wheels again. Some minor cuts from the broken window, but nothing serious.

Finished the class in Maine today and got rides back. I have some incredible friends I know and work with who drove me up and back from the accident to the class and then home. One pal loaned me his car for a few days while I get it sorted out. My brother offered me his car, which I might take him up on as a friend of mine in Poughkeepsie might need me this weekend.

I was talking to a friend tonight who said I have a guardian angel out there, as last night could have gone 1,000 different ways and all of them far worse. It might be our friend Erin Schlather, she suggested. And I like that idea very much.

I'll have photos and play-by-play soon. I'm just too damn tired.

Thanks Erin.

NH Primary Day

My good friend Ben is writing for the online political journal Politico, and happens to be in NH today covering the primary. If you're interested, which if you have a pulse you should be, then swing by and follow his coverage. N.B. He's covering the Dems and 08 race. There's another guy on the site named Jonathan Martin that's covering the Republicans.

Rock the Vote

Wired and unhappy

So I own a MacBook Pro laptop and have for almost 2 years. When I bought it, I bought AppleCare which is the extended warranty of 3 years as opposed to 1. However this guy thought it was like a car warranty, ah no. You have to activate it. Which was all well and good until I lost the box that the code came in.

Fast forward almost two years and I'm cleaning my bedroom. I found the box, and a bloody glove and Amelia Earhart. And currently my computer is making noise. Sounds like a fan problem. It actually sounds like Leopard. Not the new operating system, but as if there's an actual leopard stuck in my laptop. No bueno. So I call to activate my AppleCare and the lady is perplexed as to why I'm doing this almost two years late. I tell her she doesn't know me. So it gets resolved and I take it to the Apple Store and meet with a genius who takes it from me and promises to get it back in 5-7 days.

5-7 Days? I need this thing. It sits on my lap and acts as my second brain. Like when I'm watching TV and I think "What else has that guy been in?" Boom, he was in Leprechaun 4. Or I want to do some e-mails before bed, well now I'm tethered to my desktop. A computer I'll add that I bought about 5 years ago when I was drunk one night. I woke up with a hangover and saw my wallet near the computer, which is never a good sign. And then got an e-mail from Dell congratulating me on my purchase. At least it wasn't Russian hookers.

So I'll be blogging a little light this week. And then I'm off to Seattle for a long weekend with a friend. Wha hoo. Coffee, flying fish, and microbrews.

The New Year's First Post

Happy 2008 to my handful of faithful readers. I spent the evening playing Wii and eating chinese food with my favorite gun for hire at his swanky digs in Boston. We screened two films this evening on his giant TV. They were the GrindHouse series directed by Robert Rodriguez and Tarrantino. Basically two separate films with similar casts, shot similarly and then screened in theaters together.

The first one, Planet Terror was good. I do love me some Rose McGowan, especially when she has a machine gun as a prosthesis. And Bruce Willis spoke like 9 words, but they were manly words. Asides from that, it was general zombie mayhem with a little Toxic Avenger thrown in for good measure.

The second, Death Proof, was about a guy who kills girls with his car. This was the Tarrantino film and was much slower to get started and then got really fast, really quickly. Good stuff. Vanessa Ferlito was excellent and sounded straight out of Brooklyn which made me smile.

Verdict: Check these films out. And do watch them together for the effect. And the fake preview before Planet Terror is actually becoming a movie.

Merry New Year

That title keeps with the Trading Places theme.

On this, the last day of 2007, I sit here in Morrisville, VT just outside of Stowe. Stowe you say? You must be enjoying some hard-core winter sports! Not so much, I went cross-country skiing yesterday and fell about 341 times in about 2 hours. I got snow in places my doctor can't even find, and I broke the coat rack of the lodge trying to prevent my face from being one with the wall. Good thing that those cross-country people are super chill. Case in point, on my 35th wipeout of the day, I was buried in a snowdrift with my head poking out and a couple came up the trail. I joked to the guy, "Stay away from this part, it's deep over here." To which he replied "Right on man, thanks." Ah stoners.

So I'm in a small house with about 9 members of my family or their girlfriends/wives. Booze is really the key here, people. It's like the lubricant to get through family gatherings. So wishing you all the best in the upcoming year. And if you're not with someone on this lamest of holidays, fear not. For there's always booze and Twilight Zone marathons, and the Stooges. And me.

Be good everybody.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope this finds you all happy and with friends or family today.

The Boob Tube

So I was watching TV a week or so ago and flipping through the Comcast on-screen menu and saw The Wedding Planner. No big deal. Awful J-Lo movie with Matt McConaughey, don't care about the story dreck. This is no big deal, as there's crap on TV all the time. But it was on AMC. American Movie Classics. Now I know they call themselves AMC now. This is reminiscent of how Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their name to KFC. Many said it's because legally they weren't allowed to call it chicken.

So as a film fan, I realized how much I do love the classics and to call this movie a classic pissed me off. So I did what any red-blooded American would do. I wrote an e-mail.

Here is the letter:

From: Ramblings of a Civil Servant
T0: Info@amctv.com
Date: December 9th, 2007 11:31PM

To Whom it May Concern,

I was watching TV a few nights ago and noticed that AMC was showing The Weddling Planner, starring Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey. I wonder if perhaps had aired this by mistake, because this movie hardly could be considered a classic. First, it came out in 2001. I've got things in my fridge older than that. Second, it is an awful movie. This is not really open to debate. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a rating of 15% which is very bad. Very, very bad.

Please don't show this movie again. Screen the Godfather or Ben Hur anytime you see this movie coming up in your lineup. And if there was an intern who told you this was a good movie for your channel, fire him. Okay, make him watch the Godfather and then fire him. Note that I didn't say Godfather 3, which is almost as large a piece of crap as The Wedding Planner. Or you can continue to screen The Wedding Planner, but just change the name of your channel to Additional Mindless Cinema or something like that.

Sincerely,

Ramblings


They haven't written back.

Spotters Ready! Gladiators Ready!

Holy Crap. It's on. I remember this like it was yesterday. My favorite game was the one where they used all kinds of different weapons to fire foam projectiles.


Though for some AG love, and to get you pumped for the redux, here's the Eliminator

Spike Lee would have wept

Last night I took in a professional basketball contest between the Boston Celtics and the New York Knickerbockers. I have gained some allegiances since moving up here from New York, and while I like the Celts the Knicks are still my team. Which really is too bad.

I remember the Knicks from high school, and names like Ewing, Starks, Anthony Mason, Smith and many more. Hell I even remember the white guy. There were no names asides from Marbury and Curry that I recognized last night. Which is fine, because I was too busy yelling "What the hell is the matter with you guys?" and "Are you serious?" In case you didn't hear, the score of that game it was bad. I promised my friend we could leave when the Knicks scored 50 points.

I left with three minutes left to go in the 4th quarter.

There are only 4 quarters in the NBA.

I spent most of the game booing Isiah Thomas, the worthless racist, sexist coach of the Knicks. I wanted to boo the owner, James Dolan, who has to pay some woman 11 million bucks because of Thomas, and he still keeps him on. People talk all the time about government employee job security. But tell me another job where you can make millions, cause your employer to lose 11 million, and be 5-10 on the season.

Fire Isiah. Now more than ever.

Tryptophan Movie Roundup

So on a weekend where you're eating more than is humanly possible, and need to break up that eating with 2-3 hour digestion periods, what's better than movies to break it up? So without further adieu....

Deathwatch: This movie was about an evil trench in World War I. I made the fam sit through it the morning of Thanksgiving. It was decent, not great. A little low-budget and it had a neat twist at the end. But it really wasn't worth sitting the stuff before the twist.

Verdict: If you like movies about war or horror then this isn't for you. However if you've been searching for a horror movie about trenches, then you need a life and this probably still isn't the movie for you.

Next up was the much awaited American Gangster, which is the movie about Frank Lucas, the real life black NYC crime boss in the 60's and 70's. I had heard from friends and readers of this blight on the internet that they found the first hour a little slow. I actually liked the whole movie and thought the first hour set up the film nicely. Some highlights in the movie for me:

• The movie was filmed heavily in the 28th Precinct in Harlem, where yours truly used to be a cop. It was neat seeing a lot of the buildings I pulled people out of making cameos.
• Armand Assante was excellent as a local mob kingpin. Really good and subtle work and much more courageous than his work in Partners in Action. Welcome back from TNT movies Armand. We missed you.
  
• The cops in this movie are not New York cops. They're from Jersey, which I'm not thrilled about. The NYPD guys come off looking pretty poor actually. But it's reality.

Verdict: Good movie. Good cast. If you like Denzel, the mob, guns, or pretty much movies in general, you'll like this.

Finally, I finished up with the exciting Ryan Phillipe/Chris Cooper flick, Breech. It covered the takedown of Robert Hanssen, who is thought to be the one of the most damaging spys the U.S. has ever known. Phillipe plays Eric O'Neill who was an FBI kid on the track to be Agent and got asked to spy on Hanssen. And so he does and it leads to Hanssen's capture and then he decides he doesn't want to be an agent, which is virtually a lock for him . Takes guts, but don't worry. He goes on to be a lawyer at one of the biggest firms in the country.

Verdict: Decent spy flick. You won't be unhappy by watching it, but you really won't be missing anything if you don't see it.

That's the scoop for now.

Happy Turkey Day (Belated)

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving holiday. Hopefully there was much poultry consumed. It was cool that my Mom and step-dad came up and cooked in my oven. So that means that I have leftovers. Tomorrow begins the parade of turkey and stuffing sandwiches that I will consume this week. Huzzah.

That's me carving the bird. Carving that shit sexy-like.

I have no honor

In a shameless plug, I would like to mention that one of my reviews was chosen as Review of the Day on the local Yelp page. It was for pizza at this fine place that I've written about.

Good pizza.

Movie Roundup

Today on Movie Roundup, I've got three movies to share with you. I had meant to write this a few days ago, but then tonight I saw No Country for Old Men, more on that soon.

First up, Host. This is a South Korean sci-fi movie basically involving a creature that steals a little girl and their family's attempts to get her back. It was good, with crisp clear effects. It also had a good sense of humor, much like another Ramblings fave, Kung Fu Hustle. But good story, even if America does come out as partly evil. Though I think given world events, a movie made outside this bubble might be justified in thinking that.

Verdict: Good action/thriller that would never have been filmed the same in the U.S.

Next on the list was Illuminados por el Fuego, or Blessed by Fire. This movie was about an Argentine who has flashback of him and buddies in one of the most lopsided contests since the original Olympic Dream Team took on Angola in 1992. I'm speaking of course of the Falklands War, or the Malvinas war, depending on which side you support. It was a good movie, made even better by the scarce material I had seen on the conflict. It weaves a current story with flashbacks well and tugs at the heartstrings.

Verdict: I liked it. If you are at all interested in the conflict, like war movies, or enjoy hearing spanish, then you will too.

Finally, I took in No Country for Old Men, which is the Coen Brothers new film. It was heavy. It is the sort of movie you find yourself following straight through and then sitting staring when the credits start rolling. It should be called "No Movie for Candy Asses." It was violent and yet slow at the same time, but in a good way. The movie also went against several Hollywood cliches, which I won't go into so as not to spoil them. But I like film and I liked this movie on several levels. Asides from the mentally imbalanced man sitting to my right that apparently thought the whole movie was a comedy, it was a perfect viewing experience.

Verdict: It can wait until DVD, but it can't wait much longer after that.

And that's all for now.

So good....

Sorry for the double video post, but this is another really funny installment from Lunchbox.



Way to be Waks. Keep making the funny.

If you're a kid of the 80's, check this

Probably the coolest thing ever done with snare drums and flutes ever....

Made my day.

Weekend Movie Roundup

This weekend I saw two movies that came in those awesome red envelopes. I enjoyed both of them tremendously.

Let's start with Zodiac. It was a great movie that seemed to have everyone in it. My favorite surprise character was Anthony Edwards, who fit his role perfectly. The Director apparently wanted someone who represented good and order, so he rang up Dr. Green. The movie did start off with some decent violence and gore, but then it transitioned into the investigation. Oh, and I have come to love Robert Downey Jr. more and more. The movie was well shot and had some great visual effects. Not quite a straight thriller or crime drama, it really hit the mark.
Verdict: If you like crime drama or good movies, rent this.

I followed that the next night by King of New York. This is an older movie (1992), but it holds up well again thanks to terrific casting. Christopher Walken is pretty much awesome in most everything, this being no exception. I really liked Wesley Snipes and Lawrence Fishburne too. I'm not sure I'll ever like David Caruso however. Gritty and dark, it's a great portrayal of 1980's New York City.
Verdict: If you like violence, or Scarface, and perhaps want to remember when the subway cars had graffiti, rent this as well.