Manundrum #2

So my apologies for the infrequent blogging, grad school started back up for a summer semester and while there's been tons of stuff to write about, I didn't get to it.

This is the second in the Manundrum series, which basically are conundrums for the male species. My last one was on choosing jams or jellies. This one concerns...Shampoo. I stopped in to the local Walgreens to grab some deodorant and shampoo and was once again paralyzed in an aisle.

First, I'm a guy and therefore I don't buy conditioner separate. I appreciate the helpful properties of conditioner, but I don't like how it works. When I use stand alone conditioner it feels like it's not out of my hair after 10 rinses, so my showers take longer. This means either I want just shampoo or a 2 in 1 product. Sadly, that market was started by these guys, and I'm tired of this shampoo. The smell makes me sick given my years of Pert use. And don't I deserve a shampoo that smells of guava and elderberries?

Second, how many damn problems do people have with their hair. I'm looking at these bottles and I see:

• Dry hair: I don't get this. Isn't this why you shower? Take more showers.
  
• Oily hair: It should say for Hippies and Persons Driving their Camaros to the Jersey Shore.
  
• Damaged Hair: This confuses me? Was your hair in a tragic industrial accident? Did you fall asleep in the sun for 3 days while vacationing in the Mojave?
  
• Anti-Frizz: I get this. Not for me, but if you have any Jewish friends, you might need to tame the Jewfro at some point.
  
• Volumizer: How does this work? Is this like steroids for your hair? And what happens when your stylist rats on you in front of Congress?
  

WHERE IS THE GODDAMN SHAMPOO THAT CLEANS MY HAIR AND MAKES IT SMELL NICE? I don't have any of these problems above, and if I did I'd never know.

I settled on some Herbal Essences thing that magically combines shampoo and conditioner and doesn't smell like industrial cleaner. So I'm a happy man. This is proof once again that being a girl is much tougher.