I wish this were a real movie. Sadly I fear it is not.
While not currently a civil servant, I have government service in my bones, which means lots of naps and conference calls with no resolutions.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sickness and Comcast
I think my title may make for a great book title someday. It was meant to highlight the disappearance of your favorite blog author. No, me. I'm currently fighting a cold. Well, not so much fighting, as watching it move from my head and settle quite happily in my chest. Awesome. Then the internet and cable went out in my house for a week. I called right away, but much like UPS, they fail to deliver or arrive when working human beings are home. They offered me a 11-1 appointment the next day. Riiight, because we all work next door to our house.
Anyway, I loathe Comcast. Perhaps not so much as the guy that set up this website, but I really don't like them.
So let me explain what has probably happened to you if your cable and internet go out at the same time. This has happened to me twice with these boobs, so I am a quasi-expert on this.
You probably think that your cable comes in from the street to that box under your TV and that's where the problems lie. False. In fact your cable starts on a pole on in a junction box in your apartment. Each apartment has it's own wire going to the mother cable source. These wires are labeled with your apartment on it. Over time the labels can fall off or a person who knows the system and wants to get free cable can just rip off the tags to confuse the Comcast tech.
The tech is not confused. Well, no more than Frankenstein was by fire in Young Frankenstein. They simply pull all the wires out. But you're asking, "Doesn't that mean everyone's cable goes out?" Yes. Yes it does.
Then I call Comcast to report a loss of all services and they see that I'm a paying customer and send out a tech to reattach the wires and label mine. The guy who was stealing obviously isn't going to call, so that's how they weed out the problem. Comcast calls it "Disconnect in Error." I call it "Disconnect on Purpose." The tech who came to fix it is like, "You should have told them this was a Disconnect in Error. I'm on call until 10PM, and I would have come out that night."
Then I saw red. See Comcast is smart. They have insane policies and moronic customer service, but it's never the person who you're talking to's fault. The poor tech bears most of the anger, but it's not his fault he works for a souless awful company.
I do have an idea Comcast on a revenue generator. What if you charged people $25 extra to come when normal people were home? I'd pay $25 for them to come from 7-10PM easy. I bet others would too. This is a slam dunk and if you're listening Comcast, I want a piece of this action.
Anyway, I loathe Comcast. Perhaps not so much as the guy that set up this website, but I really don't like them.
So let me explain what has probably happened to you if your cable and internet go out at the same time. This has happened to me twice with these boobs, so I am a quasi-expert on this.
You probably think that your cable comes in from the street to that box under your TV and that's where the problems lie. False. In fact your cable starts on a pole on in a junction box in your apartment. Each apartment has it's own wire going to the mother cable source. These wires are labeled with your apartment on it. Over time the labels can fall off or a person who knows the system and wants to get free cable can just rip off the tags to confuse the Comcast tech.
The tech is not confused. Well, no more than Frankenstein was by fire in Young Frankenstein. They simply pull all the wires out. But you're asking, "Doesn't that mean everyone's cable goes out?" Yes. Yes it does.
Then I call Comcast to report a loss of all services and they see that I'm a paying customer and send out a tech to reattach the wires and label mine. The guy who was stealing obviously isn't going to call, so that's how they weed out the problem. Comcast calls it "Disconnect in Error." I call it "Disconnect on Purpose." The tech who came to fix it is like, "You should have told them this was a Disconnect in Error. I'm on call until 10PM, and I would have come out that night."
Then I saw red. See Comcast is smart. They have insane policies and moronic customer service, but it's never the person who you're talking to's fault. The poor tech bears most of the anger, but it's not his fault he works for a souless awful company.
I do have an idea Comcast on a revenue generator. What if you charged people $25 extra to come when normal people were home? I'd pay $25 for them to come from 7-10PM easy. I bet others would too. This is a slam dunk and if you're listening Comcast, I want a piece of this action.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Miller Time!
So I'm in Milwaukee visiting some terrific friends, Tom and Megan. I've been joined here by two other pals from college as well. So today, after a late start, had a great brunch and then took the Miller Brewery tour. The end of the tour brings beer samples and a comment questionnaire. Tom had a few suggestions. My two favorites were:
- Allow beer to be drank on the tour
- Make better beer
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
A Magical Place
So this past weekend, or long weekend, I went down to Walt Disney World with one of my oldest friends and her family. The last time I was at WDW was with these same kind folks, except it was during Hurricane Katrina and they're from New Orleans which means it wasn't that much fun towards the end of that trip. I have collected some thoughts about this place from my weekend and will share them with you:
- The flight to Orlando from anywhere is always filled with kids who are so excited. Our plane had just taken off from Boston and the runway was falling away underneath us and one kid points to South Boston and asks his Mom, "Is that Orlando?" Cute in one way, but not in a "your kid eats paste sort of way." These same kids are generally pretty quiet on the flight back. If not, that's why God invented these. (Thank you Santa)
- Disney has this thing called Magical Express. In short, they send you luggage tags for your checked baggage. You check in with them at Orlando International when you arrive and magic gnomes whisk your luggage from the carousel and drop them in your room. All pretty cool, unless your tags don't arrive on time. Not a huge deal, but I waited through this long line and told the "cast member" this and she smiled and said "Hakuna Matata." Then I punched her. Not really, but that crap might work on 11 year olds, but not on this guy who wants to make sure his bag isn't stolen.
- We stayed at The Boardwalk Inn. Which faithfully recreates a Jersey Shore town in the 40's. It's cool because it has a few token businesses along the Boardwalk, like a bakery, pizza place, piano bar etc. I sort of wish it captured the Shore era from the 70's and 80s. They could have real life junkies hanging out underneath the boardwalk, fighting seagulls for leftover pretzels.
- There are a lot of fat people at WDW. But the most sedentary of the bunch, choose to rent a motorized scooter. Because God forbid you lose weight walking. It's quite the site seeing couples driving down the paths in these things. Like a sad, slower CHiPs for large people. My favorites were the ones with the awnings. I was amazed at how quickly people would alight from these things when they needed to get in line for a ride, or get a beer or an ice cream cone that looks like Mickey.
- There appears to be some compulsion to wear branded Disney clothes. Every other person had on something made in China with Disney's logo on it. And not just mouse ears. No, fake hockey jerseys, designer looking T-shirts, sweatshirts and leather bomber jackets. I mean you're at the godddamn park? Why the hell do you feel the need to wear their stuff? It reminds me of the people who would come to New York and buy some shirt that says "Bada Bing" on it from Little Italy in rhinestones. While, if they wanted to appear cool and with it, they could buy something unique that says more than simply the name of the place they have visited. I like this option myself.
- You should do the World of Beers tour at Epcot. There are 11 separate countries represented around a lake and you can stroll around and drink a native beer in each of them. Realize that as you get older, these countries seem much closer together. Take it from me. I respectfully submit that if you chose to do this, start in Norway or France and make your way around. It's fun to end up in England. And if you start in Norway, you get to wear of these official hats.
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