Monday, August 24, 2009

Stress Relief

So this week I predicted being rough and it has lived up to my expectations. So I wasn't exactly persistent in following through. I also have this concept that my stuff would go down the same day. I was wrong. So it looks like my stuff won't be there until 2 weeks from move day, which is going to be 9/1. Big thanks to Elizabeth for watching them move my stuff in as I plan to be down in DC this weekend.

So in this stressful time of looming deadlines and crap all over my house, and my back going out of wack meaning I can't run. So I found this on Fark. God Bless Fark. Here is what you need to do.
  1. Click on this link.
  2. These are the candidates for Livonia City Council. Click on some of the links, but save Glenn Moon until the end.
  3. Click on Glenn Moon's name
  4. Thank me.
He's on YouTube as well, but it's not nearly as good as the above process.

This has sustained me today. That and the fact that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is on.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

3rd post

So I realized this is my 3rd post for the month, which I know is pathetic and is driving people away. This is a tough month. But I have found a residence and will be signing a lease shortly. This is a good thing, as someone else will be living in my home on September 1.

Tonight finds me in Virginia which is in the South. How do I know its the South? Because if you want good food you have to go to a strip mall. This is a unique phenomenon. In NYC or Boston, good food is located in standalone buildings. Here, it's next to an adult bookstore and Curves for Women location. However, that does not detract from the food. The sushi was choice.

I also bought a bag at Ross's. I finally have a roller board that stores in the overhead. Except on the tiny goddamn planes I fly with USAir. I just wanted to check in to say that I'm still here. I was upgraded to first class on the Shuttle coming down. Ah luxury for 49 minutes. Well, free booze at least.

And my new work friend Kimberly suggested this video, which truly is the most honest R&B video I've ever seen, asides from the fact he's a white guy.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Oh yeah

So I'm going to bed....

I was supposed to be going to my own bed tonight, but apparently fog is not good for flying. So I'm at the Dulles Sheraton in Herndon, VA. I ran for the airport shuttle bus, ordered a chicken caesar salad from room service and then worked on PowerPoint slides for 2 hours. I get to wake up in 5 and fly out hopefully on time at 7:05AM in the same clothes and without deodorant. Sweet.

I would like to correct my former post. Now I am actually a road warrior. Well, a real road warrior would have packed some toiletries in his carry-on.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

2 Man Enter, 1 Man Leave

The Road Warrior returneth....

So I won't type long, because I'm exhausted. I will warn my faithful readers of two things:

First, in my search for billable hours and then sleep, I'm not sure what time I will have for this, Facebook, Yelp, SexyGoats.com, and many other sites. So I don't want you to pine away. I'm now on a hunt. It's like a treasure hunt, except the treasure is the "billable hour." This hunt will lead me to not farting around during the day, which is a good thing, but also puts a damper on this stuff.

Second, I realize that I need to move blogs. This blog has too much stuff about me to clean up and I will leave it dormant until I return to the public sector. I also need a more appropriate title. So you will at some point find a post telling you to contact me for my new blog address. Just click the contact me button on the top right.

This Monday I did have a total Road Warrior moment where my flight was delayed enough to miss my connection in Charlotte, forcing me to either spend the night in Philly or Charlotte before continuing on to Orlando the next day. I ended up noticing a Southwest flight leaving in 45 minutes direct to Orlando across the terminal. So I went out of security, and bought a ticket from the ticket counter. Who knew you could do such a thing? It cost $87, so God bless you SWA.

Then I arrived in Orlando and stayed at the Marriott. The kitchen was closed for the night and the only option I had was the "Market." Imagine a bodega, but in the USSR where everything is marked up 500%. So I bought the last sandwich they had. Turkey and Swiss with really wilted lettuce. I choked it down and thought this should earn some traveller medal. Rough business.

Until next time sports fans.....

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

You're doing it wrong...

Has anybody seen these ads?

Now that Brinks has become Broadview, I see their ads are no less ridiculous. Allow me to expound on how much I hate these things.

The first reason these bother me are that they seem to target white women who live home alone. And who the hells sets the alarm when they come in for lemonade? Does this woman live in Kabul? The guy who calls from Brinks is also some slightly uniformed white guy who seems like he should be a cop. He's not. The people that call are calling from a call center. Which means that they just as easily could be selling Sham-Wows instead of calling you.

The second and most obvious reason is that this isn't how crime works. The most likely character to break into your house is someone looking like this.
This is what came up when I GIS'd "crackhead." They are people who are down on their luck and looking for something easy to steal that will net them 20 bucks so they can get high. These people do not want you to be home when they rob you. This makes it far less likely that they will get your stuff. They also don't have the intelligence or the sobriety to handle a hostage situation. They look for you to be gone, so they do it during the day. The thing I hate about these ads is that the perp always makes eye contact with the victim and then decides to break the glass anyway. Wrong.

Let's say on the other hand that this isn't a crackhead or a professional thief, and they want to do harm to the woman and or child in this clip. This, by the way, is the fear that sells these systems. That some rando is going to come along and rape your wife in the middle of the day. But let's say there is a psychopath who wants to do this. If they see you and break the window, they're not going to stop when they hear the alarm. If they're that determined, they will see their act through because they know that the response is going to be at least 5 minutes or more, because teeth whitened Brinks guy has to call you while you're being strangled and see if you're okay. (Note: This is very, very, very unlikely. Like getting struck be lightning. However this sells the majority of the alarms I would bet.)

I wasn't a cop for that long. But I know bullshit when I see it.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Crisis

So while this move is exciting, it does involve travel. A bunch of travel to the Hampton Roads area in fact. For those that know me, I don't mind travel. And yes, I know that travel gets old. I know that airports and connections are not fun. But they are for me, at least in the beginning. I am a self-avowed aviation geek, loving flying and all the aspects that come with travel. I mean, I am the guy who flew to Hawaii for 18 hours, just to gain status on American.

Here is where the problem starts. American doesn't fly to Newport News, and only flies two flights to Norfolk a day which isn't going to work. There are other choices of course. There happens to be a direct flight from US Air and United, but they are stupid expensive due to the huge military population down in Hampton Roads. Southwest also flies direct from BWI, so that's an option.
However the one logical choice is the hardest one to make.

These guys are terrible. I know this. They came in dead last in survey after survey. There are YouTube videos about how bad they are. It kills me that I'm going to be using these guys. But I already have 10 segments booked on them in my first 7 days on the job. So I suppose I'll see how bad they are. But I don't like this. Not one bit. I find it funny, and not ha ha funny, that I'm close to platinum status with American and yet so far. So I'll let people know how this all turns out.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Big Changes Inbound

Greetings Loyal Readers,

A number of big changes incoming for me and probably this blog. I accepted a job with a consulting company doing project management in the same general area that I work in currently. It will probably involve me traveling between DC and other parts of VA and possibly NYC. I'm nervous, but in a good way. I am reminded of the great quote from Ghostbusters, "You don't know what its like out there! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results!" Going to the dark side was something I thought of in the past, mostly for the chance to mix things up and add more travel into the mix, and the money doesn't hurt either.

Big change #2 is that the job is in Washington D.C. So that's a big change as well. I do have some really good friends down there, but I am leaving some good friends up here too. I can't help but think of this movie during this whole process. Anyway, I am coming to terms with my decision and I think it really is the right one. I need to challenge myself and get out of my box, as it were.

I should be in the new job the first week of August and down in DC around Labor Day. This brings us to possible change #3, the blog. I'm contemplating putting the blog on hold until I return to a job that more accurately fits the title of civil servant. I'm also concerned that writing about places I'm visiting for work could get tricky working for a private company. So I'm thinking of going anonymous, which is not like what it is now, more a diary blog. I'm open to thoughts or suggestions.

I'm going to bed. Loong day.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Late Night Delivery Award

Has this happened to you?

Come home after last call with a friend and even though you've eaten all day, you are ravenously hungry? A quick check of Foodler shows that there are only a few places delivering. You order up a feast of Chinese food, over ordering like a boob. And then you promptly in your addled state, fall asleep. The delivery guy arrives with your Chinese feast and promptly unleashes hurls of Mandarin curses as you have your phone on vibrate in your pants, which is on the floor and there's no way you can hear it. Said delivery envoy returns back to the restaurant with the food. You wake up confused with 5 angry voicemails on your phone.

Of course it has. Well my friends, I am awarding the Late Night Delivery Award to Lucky Star Chinese Food in Medford, MA.

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I realized this morning that I had wasted money, because with Foodler you pay ahead of time. This means the restaurant wasn't on the hook for the cash. However imagine my surprise when the guy calls me today while doing laundry and asks if I want to reschedule the delivery! Ah yes, yes, a thousand times yes. No idea why they would do this. They have no obligation. But from now on, whenever drunken cravings call for, I will be using Lucky Star on GP.

Spies Like Us Part 2

So this past week has been pretty significant for a few reasons. One of them I posted about, which is completion of grad school classes. That frees up time during the week for me as well as allows me to start paying off debt. A lot of debt.

Second thing that was pretty remarkable was that I moved through to the next round of the Foreign Service Officer application process. People are amazed, as they know that the test is incredibly hard. I would like to claim to be that good, however Wikipedia can add some corrections:

"For fifty years, Foreign Service Officer applicants who passed an all-day written exam were invited to an oral assessment. In mid-2007, the all-day written exam was shortened and information on a structured resume also began to be considered. The structured resume along with the Qualifications Evaluation Panel, or QEP, which is made up of three Foreign Service Officers, was one of the greatest changes to the Foreign Service Exam in decade"

So now I complete 5 short answers and then submit those to the QEP and hear from them around October if I'm eligible to move onto the Oral Assessment. There's other things going on, and I'll let you all know how what's happening as that unfolds.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Free at last. Free at last.

So I have taken classes at several institutions of higher learning. Vassar College. The New York City Police Academy. Suffolk University. Yesterday was my final class in my final semester at Suffolk. This means that I will be receiving my Masters in Public Administration. The diploma I assume comes at the end of the summer. I will use it to stuff my shoes with to stay warm as I will be reduced to homeless levels of poverty to pay off a degree. A degree which might I add increases my earning potential by around $.45, unlike my doctor and lawyer friends.

And then today my brother Broxton had to show me up by completing his Doctorate defense which means he is a PhD in Geology. God bless us. And God help all those defenseless lake bottoms.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Guess what crap I don't own

So my roommate of 4 years moved out and I found out I was missing some stuff. So tonight I went to target and bought some replacement gear. It includes:
  • Iron
  • Ironing board cover (He oddly left the old board but took the iron)
  • Microwave
  • Frying pan
  • 2 plates
  • 1 bowl
  • Bucket to put the ice cubes in after you take them out of the trays but want to keep them in the freezer (This is a new addition)
I figured that I would never have more than 1 plate and bowl in action at any given time. I also have paper plates galore, which will suffice if others decide to grace my house with their presence. I also relearned how terrible I am at ironing tonight.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Entries on Gotham

So I was down in New York for a short visit last night and today. For those who are unaware, today is Bunker Hill Day which is a state holiday in MA. Trivia question: Where was the Battle of Bunker Hill fought?

So while in New York, I had some thoughts...

  • The cabs have TV now. My cab from the airport seemed to have Channel 7, while the one to the Airport had Channel 4. The TVs have different features, but the end result is the same. If you're from out of town, you're all "Hey lookee here, there's a lady talking to me from the seatback in front of me." If you're a New Yorker, you're thinking that as you can't actually access the internet from the TV, that it's 80% useless. It also has a map that tells you where you are, which I suppose is so that cabbies don't take tourists for an extended ride. But the tourists would have to be geographers I fear. How the hell would I know whether I was taking the long route, unless I could see that I was in Jersey and I wanted to go to Queens. Dumb.
  • LaGuardia is a poor airport. I know it was the first major airport we had in the city, but the central terminal is a poor design. It's almost as bad as Kansas City, but nothing could really be that bad. It needs an overhaul, but the airport is built on a postage stamp, so they really have nowhere to go. There are great views of Rikers though from the runway.
  • I got to order a coffee this morning from one of these. If you don't know what this is, it's a coffee cart and they spring up all around midtown and in other areas predominately near subway stations. They are a unique New York fixture and of the ones I frequented I always had great times talking to the guys inside. Large coffee is still $1, which is a great deal. And my favorite is they know how to make a regular coffee. Regular for those not in the know is not black. That's called a black coffee. A regular in NYC is milk and 2 sugars. Regular in Boston is cream and 2 sugars. I hate cream in my coffee. It makes it way too viscous. I wish there were coffee carts everywhere.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tough Day?

I had a long day that had me wanting to scream into my trashcan. But then I found this photo taken by Mike Clarke/Agence France-Presse. It made me instantly happy.

I hope my nephew is okay over there...

Monday, June 08, 2009

Stop right now and I'll make the sun come back

So this weekend was my 10th college reunion. However I was not in attendance, as I had a test to take. I also was unsure how I was going to be surrounded by so many babies. I took the Foreign Service Officer Test, which is basically the test that is administered to enter the Foreign Service of the State Department. Some have said it's the hardest test ever.

While it was difficult, the test has changed in the last 2 years. It now has 4 different sections. There is a general knowledge section, which is like a written Jeopardy game. Then there is a personal section that asks if you have certain traits and examples of those traits. Then followed by an English grammar and style section, and finally 30 minutes to write an essay.

What I was able to gleam from this 2.5 hour ordeal is that they really want to know how you work under pressure and that the State Department hates the comma second only to Osama Bin Laden. Oh, and thanks to my friend Chuck for telling me to bring #2 pencils which I tore my apartment apart looking for. The test is now given on computer.

I'll find out how I did in 3-4 weeks. Most people have to take it multiple times.According to the bastion of truth Wikipedia of 20,000 annual written test takers, only about 400 make it into the service. Stay tuned. In contrast, it was nothing like the test pictured here, though this is one of my favorite movie scenes.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Born Free.....

So my roommate of 4 years moved out to live with his fiancee, and soon wife. My next roommate is coming next week, but the arrangement I have worked out only has him here once every two weeks or so. He's actually going to be living on the West Coast, but his office is here so he needs to come back every so often. He's a good guy who I met in college.

But when the roommate moves out, I needed to do a couple things. The first is the use the bathroom without closing the door. And then there's the walk around naked, just cause. However there are down sides to the roommate leaving. It seems I didn't own any bowls or plates in the domestic partnership, but I did apparently have the monopoly on pint glasses. Not sure what this says about me.

Hmm.....

Sunday, May 31, 2009

How much do you weigh?


The above question is never a good question to ask. But it sends a special message when asked by the girl at the Cape Air check-in desk at Logan. If they want to know how much you weigh, rest assured you're getting on a small plane.

I flew up to Plattsburgh and back from Beantown this weekend to visit the folks and used Cape Air. They are currently the largest independent regional airline in the country and they have the largest fleet of Cessna 402s in world. The Cessna 402, pictured above, is a small plane. So small that you get to sit next to the pilot if you want, as there's only one. And you need to hold it on the 1 hour and 20 minute flight as there's no bathroom.

The whole thing is a little funny. It started on Friday as we're lining up to board and the pilot, Chaz, ran by and asked if we could wait as she had to use the bathroom. So you of course wait. It was obvious that many of the people on the flight are regulars as they knew her and were asking about her nights and weekend. She came back from the bathrom and then led us like a 4th grade class down to the plane.

The bags on the plane go in two places. Big bags go in the nose and the smaller bags go in the wing, behind the engine. Chaz actually opened the hatch which is like her window as she was taxiing around Logan to get more air into the plane. We took off in about 1/4 the space a jet would need and we were on our way.

One thing about small planes and getting to see out the front windows is you are a lot more attuned to the space around you. Going through clouds generally produces noticeable bumps, unlike larger planes. Another amazing discovery was the axes on the plane. Most people who fly commercially are used to two basic axes, pitch and roll. Pitch is what happens when your plane takes off and the nose points up. Roll is when you make those big banking turns and one wing dips low as you circle. However yaw was new for me. It was like the plane was climbing straight, but we were pointed at 10 o'clock. Here's a better explanation.

Overall it was a decent flight. A lot of turbulence on the way back. I hit my head several times on the top of the cabin, and I have a bump where I struck the reading light. And the French kid sitting across from the pilot got sick on the final approach. Always something going on when I travel.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Tragedy Squared

So I woke up this morning, feeling good. Not only is it Friday, but it is also payday, so you can't really beat that. And then I read this on the Times site.

Off-Duty Officer Fatally Shot by Police


This is a true nightmare. The cop who was killed had only 2 years on and was chasing a guy who he caught breaking into his car. He was stopped by the 25th Precinct Anti-Crime team, and was shot and killed by a guy with 4 years on the job. Normally, when I read of cops who are killed my heart goes out to only side, but in this case I guess it affects me more because I can imagine being on both sides of this. I spent a little under a year on the Anti-Crime team in my precinct.

The guys were tearing off the wounded cop's clothes to try and stop the bleeding when they saw he was wearing a Police Academy shirt. From the article, then then searched for and found his badge. I can't imagine what that must have been like after they saw the shirt.

Either way, I hope Officer Omar Edwards rests in peace and I hope the job will take care of his daughters. And I wish the officer who fired the shots can find some peace at some point. But this is less than 24 hours old and it's still a really sad day for New York City and the NYPD.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Made on Honor, Sold on Merit


There is a local beer that I've found that's new sort of. It's called Narragansett and it's currently being brewed in Rochester, NY under contract with High Falls Brewing. It was at one time the largest brewery in New England. The brand got bought by Falstaff Brewers and they eventually collapsed, probably on account of their piss poor beer.

Since 2006, Narragansett has been available in New England once more and only in the past few months have I made this discovery. They are actually trying to build a new brewery in their original state of Rhode Island and they would like your help. I bought two six-packs this weekend and I got a free tie. I gave it to my friend Steve, because I'm a giver like that.

But my favorite past time while drinking 'Gansetts are to come up with a marketing pitch. It revolves around the concept of Gansett Time. This is pretty much when something horrific happens in your life, and you decide to escape to that mythical place that cheap local beer can take you.

  • Your girlfriend 1 month late and you were thinking of breaking up with her before? It's Gansett Time!
  • Your computer just shit the bed on the flight to make the big pitch in London and lost all your crap? Its Gansett Time!
  • Crapped yourself when you thought you were going to fart? Its Gansett Time!
I could go on, but I think this is better with audience participation. I should mention that I like Narragansett a lot and it's a far better beer than Busch or many of the American lagers. I would actually buy it if they didn't give out ties and inspire awesome slogans.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Paradise Is

So I finally have gotten the time to write about my 18 hours in Hawaii or at least post some photos. The first two photos I took on the beach they took me to before my flight on Monday. Here is what I term the Allen Album cover, with Aloha holding Makena and Noa with Nanea.

Then I had to take a photo of my feet in the Pacific Ocean. It was one of the few touristy things I did.


I hope everyone has a great three-day weekend. For those of you working over the weekend, I thank you. I'll drink to you.

Monday, May 18, 2009

3 down, 1 to go

As I sit in my 3rd Admirals Club in 2 days, I am almost done. I have about 2 hours until my flight back to Beantown and I'm a little tired. Originally, I was hesitant to tell my hosts I was even coming to Hawaii as I thought they might think me mad and I didn't want them to be party to my madness. But I relented after Mikie told me I was nuts. And I'm glad I did.

I know it sounds nuts seeing as how I was on the Island for under 18 hours, but it felt like a vacation. We grilled and drank wine. I got to play with the girls and watch Makena produce incredible amounts of snot. I got to put my feet in the Pacific Ocean. Aloha and Noa even stopped on my way to the airport to allow me to buy a plate lunch, which I'm still eating even though they frown on people eating their own food in the lounge. Oh, and I bought 2 manapua. So good. I saved one. Maybe for breakfast tomorrow.

It was like staying with family and that's always nice. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, Allen clan. I know you said I don't have to get you anything, but that is insanity. I will find a way to make my evening up to you.

There's a flight leaving here at 1:30AM for Hong Kong. I wonder how many miles I'd get for that? Kidding. Mostly.