Monday, November 10, 2008

Not so bling

So on Friday I went to get some cash out of the machine and found that I only had around $205 dollars in my checking account, which when you add it to my savings means that I've got about $613. This means, that unlike the man pictured below, I am having some current liquidity issues.

My friends, I'm not broke. I am putting plenty of money away in the state's deferred comp plan which is good. Especially if you like flushing money down the drain. I swear that I'm going to open my statement from them one day soon and find a bill. I wonder if our fund manager has put all of our money into cash. Though knowing the state, it's probably in Zimbabwean Dollars, which the current rate is 1 USD to 22,410,101,039,302,100 ZWD. No joke. Look it up. Try and buy a candy bar there without an armored car. Impossible. How could you buy an armored car?
Wait for it....

I think I just blew your mind.

So I went to Costco this weekend to buy paper goods and razor blades and a Bond DVD. First of all, my shopping cart alone is probably 10 acres of rain forest. I felt really bad. But do you know how much razor blades cost? Yes, I have the Gillette Fusion. And yes, it's as good as the Mach 4, and yes that was just as fine as the Mach 3. But you try and find Mach 3 blades.

$40 for 16 blades? Are you kidding me? It's not like Heidi Klum is shaving me. Or as if each blade lasts for like 1 month. This my friends is known in business circles as "loss-leader" marketing. You sell the razor for cheap, knowing you're going to hose them on the blades. And it works like a charm. I also have come to loathe companies like HP who give away inkjet printers only to soak me on the ink. Some guy suggested buying razors on Ebay. And looking there, there do appear to be some deals, so maybe my cheap ass should check the internet more often.

Enjoy the holiday if you have it off tomorrow. Whether you do or don't, remember to thank a veteran, for doing what many of us are to chickenshit to do.


Tory Davis said...

If it makes you feel better, so much of my work has gone away in the last couple months because of the economy (I'm a freelance writer), I think you and I are neck and neck in the bank account race to zero right now!

Anonymous said...

Like Will Ferrell in Old School, "Come On We're streaking....Bring your Green Hat"