Being an adult isn't cheap

So tonight I was watching Asteroid on the Sci-Fi Channel and I also caught Jon Stewart's monologue from the Oscars. Both TV events were equally ridiculous. Asteroid as it centered around FEMA's response to an asteroid, which makes me laugh as I deal with FEMA all the time. And the FEMA I deal with is much more like this. Note: This is an actual document. I have a copy sitting above my computer.

And I'm tired of the Oscars. I think it's more tiring given the writer's strike. People, especially E!, were terrified that perhaps there could be a year without glitz and glamour. A.O. Scott has a decent article about a similar take. So bored with that, I decided to go grocery shopping, given that most of Cambridge would be glued to the TV.

I hit up the Shaw's and found plenty of spots, which is good because usually the Porter Square Shopping Center looks like the fall of Saigon. I've been trying to eat better. That is to say, not just buying lunch meats and beer, but trying for dinner and some sort of breakfast as well. And that apparently costs money. $102 to be precise. Olive oil was 12 bucks. Are you serious? I've also taken to looking at the calories on everything, which makes me feel like an idiot as I'm holding two different loaves of bread and staring at them.

And what the hell is up with jam? I was running out of strawberry jam for my PB&J. Because as we all know those who eat grape jelly want the terrorists to win. And I'm standing in front of a row of jars for like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the difference between Jam, Jelly, Preserves and Spreadable Fruit are. Are you fucking serious? I wanted to yell at the aisle, "Which one of you goes with the peanut butter and tastes delicious?" Because I'm sure that one of them causes cancer and I totally shouldn't buy. Cooking Light has the breakdown.
So it appears the only ones I don't want are fruit spread and possibly preserves. I settled on Jelly, though Jam looks to be the better choice.

I hate being an adult. I have no idea what kind of meat to buy unless it's sweet sausages or maybe chicken breasts. I bought a steak tonight which is probably the part of the cow that's between it's asshole and it's balls, but I have no idea as they don't say that. The package says "Flank" or "Ribeye." It never says "Taint of Cow" or "Worst piece of meat on animal." That's what I need. A grocery store for dummies. Not dummies who buy Goober Grape, those people should be rendered to Kazakhstan. I mean a place that asks you if you're really going to eat all those bananas before you buy them, or are they just going to turn brown in your fruit bowl of death. Or ask you if you have a pan that can cook that lasagna before you bring it home. That kind of store.

That's all. I now have to eat a lot, before a leave in a week for work.