If you know Boston....

Then this is hysterical.

Thanks to the friend who sent this to me.

God Bless the Internets

Be happy you're not this guy, courtesy of my friends over at HCwDB

She'll need more than PowerSauce Bars

My friend is climbing the 4th tallest peak in these United States this weekend. So we went out to dinner tonight before her husband has to drive her to the airport very early in the morning.

In case you ignoramuses don't know what the 4th highest peak is, it's Mount Rainier in Washington. This is pretty damn cool. I'm sure she'll summit and return with all of her digits. But while most of you are sitting on their ass this weekend, think of some girl 14,000 feet up in the air.

Very cool. Her husband and I will be planning an international trip for the fall. Any ideas. If you want to go to Europe, this deal ends tomorrow, so move your ass.

Beer of the Week 7/10/07

This week I again went for my run to the beer store. This time, the run was almost 2 miles, and I'm not so sure the guy at the counter appreciated me dripping sweat on the merchandise, but whatever. If he knew how much I worked for that sweat.....

Anyway, I chose for this week the Opa-Opa Red Rock Amber Ale. I wish you luck in finding this outside of Massachusetts, as it's brewed at a steakhouse brewpub in Southampton, MA. The reason for the strange name is that oddly it's run by a bunch of greek guys. I'm not sure I believe in Souvlaki prime rib, but they make a great amber ale. It won a Gold Medal at the Great International Beer Festival in 2005. I'd give it the Gold as well.

BA gives it an 83. I'd go higher. I'm thinking an 88. It's smooth, full and tasty. Went great with my Croissant Pocket. I probably should have just had the beer for dinner.

Two things

Okay, so I was perusing Fark and happened across this gem.

A guy robbed a bank disguised as shrubbery. In New Hampshire. He got away with around $1,000 dollars. And was then caught shortly after with the money. Here is the security camera from the bank...


Holy crap. I'm stunned. So you think this is great right? Even right now, you're saying "Thank you Graham for this bounty you have shown me." Well it gets better. The police captain who was interviewed is named Dick Tracy.


Double holy crap. Are you kidding me? I kind of hope he talked into his watch to have the officers surround the house.

July 4th: Barbeques and Birthrights

So this past weekend, headed up to the Adirondacks with my friends Clevon and Darleen* to my Mom's place. The town is really small, but right near it sits the Ausable Club, a bastion of WASP outdoorsman power. You could throw a rock and hit either a blond headed 5-year old named Tyler or about 75 Volvo wagons. It's so elitest, the website doesn't even tell you about the place at all, unless you want to work there. Needless to say, it's not really my scene. But went hiking and got some golf in and I almost finished this great book. Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. I highly recommend it.

I also returned to the most awesome bar on the planet. It's called Old Main 2o, or at least I think it is. And it's located in the hamlet of Ausable Forks, NY. The Coors Light is $1. And they have shuffleboard where you can play USA vs. USSR. This seems appropriate given the location of Lake Placid, so close by. They also have Sopranos: The Pinball Game which throws out the F-bomb randomly as you play, which is pretty cool.

So that was my July 4th. Happy Birthday America. As with all of my birthday wishes, this is belated. My bad. I didn't even send a card.

* I have changed the names of these friends to protect their future political aspirations and private-sector hopes.

Taking some time off....

So I'm leaving around noon today for the Adirondacks in upstate NY. I'll be in Keene, NY which is right near Lake Placid, home to the Miracle on Ice. The weather forecast looks a little crappy, but I've got some books and I'm still going to bring the clubs. So I'll be in radio silence until Sunday, which is kind of freaking me out. I'm not the best when it comes to not being connected, but I think that's why its really good that I won't be.

Oh, and the Beer of The Week will return next week. I was working last night and didn't have time to jog to the liquor store. Hope everyone had a great and dry 4th of July.

Waka's take on Scooter

My friend

I would like to spend a little time tonight talking about my friend Erin. Erin Aljoe Schlather was my first girlfriend in college. Hell, she was really my first girlfriend ever. We dated for about 3 months, and she was more mature than I by leaps and bounds. Even as a freshman, she was a young woman, while I was seemingly an older boy. So that relationship ended rather quickly, as I kept making promises that my young self could in no way keep.

Erin then became my friend. A good friend. She had this incredible ability to listen, and listen like there was no one else in the world but you and her. It was so wonderful to see that level of interest in her eyes when she was talking to you. I think of her every time I think I'm being sneaky and checking my watch or looking at the person behind the one who's speaking.

And her laugh. It was this great high-pitched giggle that seemed to make everything seem silly. It was the same giggle she'd give along with this look that said, "You didn't really do that, did you? Seriously? Dumb boy." She was genuinely happy for you when things went right. There was no trace of jealousy or envy. She was just an incredible person.

She fell asleep while driving her car home three years ago, and her car flipped over the embankment and landed top-down in a stream and she died. I can't seem to believe that she's gone. And much like how I kick myself because it's hard to notice the Towers missing from the downtown NYC skyline, I find myself worrying about being hyper-vigilant about forgetting about her. That was dumb.

Erin has this wonderful way of popping into my head randomly. And I feel that she really is watching over me, and that in some ways I am a direct extension of her memory. I'm not drinking tonight, but when I next open a beer, I will pour a little out for her. I know she'd like that.

Good night Erin, wherever you are.

I owned an elliptical machine

For less than 24 hours.

My brother Ross came over this morning, with two different types of beverages so I knew he was hungover, and I quickly learned that not only would this thing probably not fit up my stairs, but I really don't have room for it. And sadly, I didn't notice that the homeless were much slimmer, so that plan failed as well. Back in the Explorer it went, and out to my friends at the Salvation Army. And by friends, I meant a giant loading dock in Saugus, MA.

I am a huge fan of this organization, and need to say that I've worked with the people on their disaster responder side and they've been nothing short of amazing. I'm also particularly fond of the way they do their job quietly and efficiently without all the fanfare. So I paid $200 and figure I'll get the write-off for the same amount, so we can call it a wash.

Other items of note from the weekend...

- Brad Paisley's new album 5th Gear is out now. I really love the whole thing. If you dabble in country, this is for you. His single "Online" is awesome and the video can be found here, starring Jason Alexander and William Shatner. But check out the album.

- Chuck came over and brought some fresh fruit, handpicked at his parent's farm. I'd give you the weblink, but it's apparently dead.

- Speaking of computer skills, got to see the most expensive powerpoint demonstration yesterday, when I finally watched An Inconvenient Truth. Really stark stuff. At times a little preachy by Gore about his personal life, but the movie was good. I wonder if I could hire him to help me with my powerpoint skills. That guy has some serious web-fu.

I'm an idiot.

I have an elliptical machine in my car right now. And it's heavy. Yesterday I went out for a beer with some colleagues and one of them mentioned that their mother was trying to get rid of her elliptical machine and was anyone interested. So the two other guys already have one which they use to hang clothes, and I had thought of buying one previously, so I said sure. The price was right, I just needed to go pick it up at their place.

I've used these machines at the gym, and I'm not sure what I was thinking, but this thing is big, and heavy. And so we muscled it into my Explorer and then bungieed the gate, as it stuck out. And as we're loading this thing in, I'm thinking, "I have no idea if this will fit in my place, and how the hell am I going to get this out of my car." But that did not stop me from paying for it. (His parents are really nice.) I'm now sitting on my porch, drinking a beer, not really sure where to go from here.

I've considered....

1. Leaving it in the Explorer and waiting until my brother sobers up tomorrow to help me.
   
2. Taking it out and leaving it outside, thus helping the homeless in their concerted efforts to stay fit.
   
3. Leaving it in the car, and driving to the Salvation Army/Goodwill tomorrow and getting the tax write-off, while forgetting this whole incident ever happened.
   

I'm not really sure at this point. Maybe another beer would help.

Update: I had to take it out of the car, or else the battery would have died. So it's leaning up against the side of the house. It's too heavy for someone to steal. So now we'll have to see if the homeless take me up on my offer.

Now's your chance

As a kid, did you ever want to own your own railroad? Well, now thanks to the incompetence of one Amtrak crew, the family of this guy just might be able to.

Thanks to Fark for the find.

Wow it's hot.

So it's not really that hot. After all, I've been outside in Kevlar for hotter days than this, but it was one of the first muggy, hot days up here in Boston. I usually like to drive with the windows down and no a/c, but when it gets to a certain temperature it's just like having hot air blown on you. Reminds me of when I used to be a tour guide for this wretched company and it was like a mobile sauna. Oh and they wouldn't give you the free gallon of water until it was 100 degrees. Not 95, or 98. 100. They had this big friggin thermometer outside the office and would point to it as you asked for water, the 99 degrees mocking me.

But I went for a run today, which was pretty masochistic of me, but was a good thing. It was a run however to the beer store, because it was time for the new.....


Beer Of the Week

This week, I was determined to get a summery beer. Maybe not an an actual summer seasonal, but a light beer. Too hot for a porter or a stout. So I ran to my local spot, and there all sweaty and slightly wheezing stumbled upon Flying Dog's In-Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. I bought two six-packs at the BOtW is expanding in popularity and came home. I had the first one out of the freezer, which might be beer sacrilege, but it was damned tasty. It is a great wheat beer. I even got the nod from the guy who worked at the store. The "While these other popped-collar chumps buy cases of Amstel, I recognize you sir as a ruggedly handsome man who knows what good beer tastes like" look, which made me feel good.

Polished off two of them and then got some wings for dinner. It might undo the run, but the run is really my gift to the ladies of Cambridge and Somerville. Christmas comes around three times a week, in the form of pale ass legs and a t-shirt that undoubtedly has some reference to the NYPD on it.

Remember this is a game you can play at home, so find that great beer store and buy a 6 of this stuff, and lemme know what you think. I liked it.

Happy Sunday

My apologies for being off the grid for the past few days.

I spent a wonderfully random two nights on the front stoop and back stoop of my house with the lovely ladies of Apartment #1. They took part in the Beer of the Week (BOtW) Club on Tuesday and then we had an impromptu grilling evening on Thursday. First grill of the season. And this from a city kid, who never had a grill growing up. I also enjoy medium rare burgers, but somehow have more confidence when they're pink and I'm not cooking them.

This weekend brought great weather, and a trip to the library to pick up my latest book. I finished Brave New World, by Huxley. This seems like a book everyone else has read, but me. So I knocked that one off the list. It was at the library that I realized that they loaned CDs, which is a perfect way to build my collection. (Not that I would ever burn and keep music that wasn't mine, RIAA goons who no doubt troll the web for 13 year olds ripping Hillary Duff tracks)

On tap for this week, a new BOtW, a trip out to Western Mass that includes a hotel stay, and I'm sure some more grilling if the weather is nice.

Oh, and pictures from the Pitt trip should be up on the Flickr bar to the right.

Beer of the Week

I've decided to introduce a feature called Beer of the Week. Basically, each week I'm going to buy a six-pack of a microbrew and try it out. You are free to follow along at home. I'd offer you a beer from my house, but I have two left and I bought the six-pack at 6:30. The store is awesome, and close by. So this week, my beer is:

Clipper City's Heavy Seas Peg Leg Stout

Were this a normal beer review, I probably would have gone with a summer ale variation or a hefeweisen. However, I'm not normal. Just ask my shrink. So I went with a stout. Which for the non-beer fans....is like a Guinness. A little darker and meatier than a porter, which I also like. This beer was good. Smooth, and light. A little chocolaty. But very drinkable. Read the part above where it says we have 4 beers left.

Graham gives it a 87. Beer Advocate isn't entirely as kind.

Steel City, U.S.A.

Good Morning from Pittsburgh, PA. I'm here for the weekend staying with my step-brother, who I really think of as my brother. However I didn't want to confuse people into thinking that Ross had moved. So all of the brothers are out here except for Ross. Some lame excuse.

We've got a Pirates game tonight and plenty of good beer to drink. I'm here to help them plan their wedding. I'm officiating, which is an honor. If any of you out there are looking to answer the higher call, go my brother, go.

More reports from the field later....the photos will have to wait until Monday sadly. Off to breakfast....

Kind of pissed

So does anyone remember Harper's Index? You probably had a teacher in high school cut it out and read it in social studies or history. It was basically a collection of stats that they paired to make a point, like so:

• Percentage of American adults held in either prisons or mental institutions
  in 1953 and today, respectively: 0.67, 0.68
• Percentage ofthese adults in 1953 who were in mental institutions: 75
• Percentage today who are in prisons: 97

Anyway, I used to be able to read these online when I remembered they existed, which was once a year usually. Well, no longer. Now I have to subscribe. Great idea Harpers. You already have an incredibly low subscriber base, I'm sure charging teachers and geeks like me to read the only interesting thing in your worthless magazine seems like a good idea. Well, I'm sad now, and certainly not going to subscribe. And I really don't care that it's the second oldest contiuously published monthly magazine in the U.S.

Guesses on the first?

Holy Faak

Waka is up with another edition of LunchBox. I'd like to boast that this video blog is now one of the "Featured Political Blogs" on Youtube. So proud. My little guy is all grown up. Good shoutout to Massholes in this episode.

The alter-site

So some of you know this site from my other address, dategraham.com, which is the mirror site. You can either put in the odd number followed by blogspot, or dategraham. I own dategraham.com. I do not own grahamcampbell.com. That is owned by some kid who probably doesn't even know what a web page is. It's designed by his parents no doubt thinking about their future child's intellectual property rights, never dreaming of the day when he's in high school and using his namesake site to sell some primo hydroponic shit. No, I'm sure no parents think of the marketing possibilities that way. And that's why the Chinese are taking over the world.

Anyway, I need to dress up dategraham and make it it's own site. I'm thinking some testimonials and perhaps even videos. I am using the below video for my inspiration.



But then I decided that given my recent luck with the ladies, that I should create a site for them and not for me. It was to be called "The Guy Before The Guy." I have realized that many of the women I have dated, some for less than three months, have fallen in love and moved in shortly after we broke up. Now, I'll admit that it's usually me who ends it. But imagine a service where I date you for on average no more than 4 months. We go out, take some trips, have sex, all the things you would want in a relationship. Then it goes sour. But no fear, because at some unknown time following our parting ways (but usually not longer than 6 weeks) you will find your future husband.

And then I found out that two guy already have The Guy Before The Guy. But it's pretty dormant, and it looks like a spoof. I really want to make it live. Help nice women all over the country. I have a gift. An odd and somewhat tormented gift, but a gift nonetheless. Doesn't everyone deserve a shot at happiness?

Weekend Recap

Greetings Sports Fans,

A weekend recap for you. The weekend consisted of two movies and a bonus. I started a good book and attended a baby shower. Let's get to it, shall we?

Movie #1: King Kong

This movie should have been called King Long. Get it? I'll wait..... (Tugs at collar)
It was over three hours, which probably qualifies as a short for Peter Jackson. I wonder if that guy only had access to Gandhi: Uncut and The Ten Commandments: The Directors Cut. Anyway, it starred Jack Black and Naomi Watts, who I currently have a crush on. The movie was fine. Visually stunning, blah blah blah. It was loooong. And I didn't really buy the whole "her loving the gorilla more than Adrien Brody" thing. It was cool with the surround sound, but did I mention it was over three hours? B -

Movie #2: This Film is Not Yet Rated

Now, this was a documentary produced by Red Envelope Entertainment, which is wholly owned by Netflix. This is cool, as I'm not sure the major studios would have paid for this film. The film discussed the MPAA rating system and how there is a panel of parents that select the rating for each film. The biggest issues is usually between NC-17 and R. The film shows that sex scenes involving a guy and a girl generally get an R, while gay scenes depicting the exact same acts get an NC-17 rating.

So the panel is totally kept secret, which many filmmakers think is unfair because they want to know who stands in judgement of their film. But Jack Valenti refused. (On a side note, this guy seemed like a total power-hungry fruitcake. God rest his nutjob soul.) So the director of TFINYR decides to hire a private investigator to "out" the reviewers. Delicious. Go see this movie. It should make you mad. Unless you're this guy, who is also a fruitcake. A-

Bonus Movie: Ice Spiders

If someone asked you what this movie, SS Doomtrooper, Chupacabra: Dark Seas, and Dead and Deader all had in common, what would you say? If you guessed they were all Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies, you would be right and also an insomniac. This movie starred the guy from Stormship Troopers as a washed up skier, and Vanessa Williams as a spider scientist. No, not that Vanessa Williams. This Vanessa Williams, apparently from Soul Food. So, I'd give this movie a C+, but it was indeed awful. But I'm a sucker for these films.

Baby Shower

So my brother and his lovely and pregnant wife flew in from Hong Kong for a baby shower. I drove down to the incredibly wealthy town of Pound Ridge, NY for the afternoon. It was nice. I didn't bring anything, and there was a bunch of kids there perhaps to teach my brother what it's going to be like. I wonder if they rented any of them for extra effect. I met a neat couple who are moving in together. Good luck kids. I pitched my "Guybeforetheguy.com idea." I seriously think is has legs. They promised to check out the page, which should bring my hit count up to 3.

That was the weekend. Anything exciting happen to anybody else?